Edit

Overall, October has been a bit of a disappointment.

Bring on November.

MONSTER CHILLER BLOGGER THEATRE!

As FDR once said, “The only things we have to fear, are evil cats and puppets.”

With All Hallows Eve just a few days away, I wanted to share a few more weird and off beat videos of stuff that gives me the willies, and/or the heebie jeebies.

Or in some cases, both.

First up: A terrific and chilling little short film I stumbled on a few years ago…

THE CAT WITH HANDS

Puppets. Is there anything more terrifying?

A little known Muppet called Uncle Deadly was probably one of the most horrible things to come out of Jim Henson’s imagination. Here’s a really short clip from “the Phantom of the Muppet Show,” which guest starred Twiggy.

This last clip is probably the most terrifying thing I ever saw as a child. Whenever this would play, I would hide until my Mum told me it was safe to come out.

Why don’t you sing a song. That’ll make you feel better.

Sleep tight.

-HJARNOR!!!

Corporate Express #1 Corrugated Paper Clip

For a copywriting exercise, we were asked to write and design an ad for Corporate Express Paper Clips. The point was to take a simple product, and make it as interesting and engaging as possible.

Here's mine:




























The copy reads:

Corporate Express #1 Corrugated Paper Clips are thrice inspected for balance, aesthetics, and structural integrity.

It would be unwise to trust your company’s quarterly sales report to anything less.

That’s because Corporate Express #1 Corrugated Paper Clips are the nadir of metal fasteners. Each clip is three-point quality inspected before being packaged. Each clip is lovingly twisted to
fastening perfection by one of the team’s 45 technicians*, under the auspices of Swiss metallurgist Bertolt Kroner.

You can rest easy knowing that your report has been secured by the stationery world’s premium metal fastener.

*From left to right; Bertolt Kroner, Alanna Shadle, Caterina Gosse, Lue Rojek, the Corporate Express #1 Corrugated Paper Clip, Genevieve Caravetta, Penelope Wentzlaf, and Kenneth Diamico.












Just some of the distinctive advantages available in every box:

Corporate Express #1 Corrugated Paper Clips come in a handsome battleship grey, fire engine red, policeman blue, dinosaur green, and other enticing hues.

Corporate Express #1 Corrugated Paper Clips are machine-tooled in the United States of America, by proud members of the International Union of Office Supply Manufacturers Local #252.

Corporate Express #1 Corrugated Paper Clips are Opti-Coated™ for a smooth tactile experience – easy on overworked hands.

Corporate Express clips are fully compatible with household, business and industrial magnets.

Corporate Express #1 Corrugated Paper Clips employ a standardized design for use by men and women, and have recently been calibrated for use by left-handed persons.

Corporate Express #1 Corrugated Paper Clips are free from strong scent, making them ideal for persons with odor sensitivities.

Corporate Express clips can be used with any weight of paper, including 80lb cold press.

Corporate Express is a proud member of the Chlorine Free Products Association, and all of our clips are 100% chlorine free.

If dropped in a workplace mishap, Corporate Express clips are resonance-attuned to produce the perfect *ting* upon contact with a linoleum floor for no-hassle location. On carpet, the clip will produce a soothing *plip* sound.

Visit us online at corporateexpress.com to learn more about Corporate Express #1 Corrugated Paper Clips, and our soon-to-be-released #2 Clip.



-Jay

The Blog is Coming FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!

Good evening, and how do you do?

Rather than present the same old "100 Scariest Movies" list you've no doubt seen every Halloween since you were old enough to care about lists, I decided to post a few clips of lesser known films that I find particularly creepy. This is by no means an authoritative list, and it's not in any order.

It's just a bunch of weird, scary stuff. Enjoy.


Lynch

In most cases, short clips don’t do David Lynch's films justice. You need to watch the films in their entirety to build the suspense and really get your skin crawling. I sat through three hours of Inland Empire, and at points, was absolutely terrified. When I walked out of the theatre, I had to go get a beer after and think about what I'd just seen.

I remember watching Mulholland Drive one late summer evening. I didn't sleep that night.

No word of a lie, I got goosebumps just watching this clip, and I knew what was going to happen:

Another good Lynchian moment in Lost Highway:

I Wish I Were a Carpenter

John Carpenter's In the Mouth of Madness is one of the scariest movie I’ve ever seen, and not very well known except to a descriminating clique of film buffs.

The entire film is on You Tube. Stay up late and watch it alone.

Euro-Weird

I think most of the REALLY strange stuff is coming out of Europe and Asia.

First up, the always entertaining Jan Svankmajer presents his version of Faust.

The Brother's Quay make some of the eeriest short films you're ever going to see. They were heavily influenced by people like Svankmajer, and fellow Czech animator Jiri Barta.

Lastly, this isn't a film, but a music video for Einstürzende Neubauten.

I saw first saw this years ago, at 2 a.m. after a night of heavy drinking.

All pretty creepy clips, but...

You want to see something REALLY scary?

-Jay

Wednesday Morning Cavalcade of Anxiety

A quartet of topics to soothe/raise your stress levels.

1) A great article on Gawker/Defamer about viral marketing.

From the story:

The problem: these viral internet phenomenon have a habit of presaging exactly nothing. The ten year wait since Blair Witch for the next Blair Witch should be some indication of exactly what that kicked off. The thing about viral phenomenon is that they are dependent about the element of surprise, coming at you an unexpected way, from the corner of your senses that is undefended against PR flimflammery. And surprise is by definition, impossible to replicate.


2) Why I want to be a film blogger when I grow up.

3) Getting back to negative attention... watching a cute cartoon dog die in a flood as his kitty friend looks on in helpless terror, does not making me a more conscientious environmentalist.

From the Register:

It's not Halloween, but a new climate change TV advertising campaign that begins tonight, which features a young girl watching a dog drown.




Kind of reminds me of this:




















..but in a non-original, totally unfunny way.













Aw. <:(

I leave you with an anxiolytic for modern living:
Today's edition of the smartest web comic of our time.

It's 1 a.m., and I need a little PM to help me sleep...

-Jay

The Ones Who Walk Toward an Omelet

My friend Dan's restaurant and bar, J.Fox's, just received a nine out of ten star rating from the Breakfast Connoisseurs at Breakfastwinnipeg.com for an amazing Sunday brunch.

http://www.breakfastwinnipeg.com/JFoxs.html

Andrew McMonagle, breakfast gourmand and columnist for the Uniter, had this to say:

"Sunday brunch hasn’t looked this good in a long while. Nice, big cups of decent coffee, satisfying cutlery (had a nice weight to it, not flimsy and bite-ridden like we’ve had before) . My plate was overflowing with fruit, such that I had to ask Daniel if we were getting special treatment. He told me he knew we were coming, but that it wasn’t special treatment. Further visits by Leif confirmed this."

If you're looking for a little Thanksgiving pregame nosh, check it out!



For more breakfast suggestions, check out Breakfast Connoisseurs Facebook page.

I'm partial to Falafel Place and Stella's myself.

Nosdrovya!

-Jay, Eggs, Sausage & Spam

*Clever!

Stay Classy Jay

I remember Craig Ferguson's show a few years ago when he discussed his feelings on Britney Spears. When all the other comedians were having a field day as her life seemed to be on the Anna Nicole Smith Express Bus to Hades, Ferguson decided (and I believe quite genuinely) to take the high ground and give her a pass.




I would have thought that Leno might choose to do the same...





I'm not going to say shame on Jay, but really, I think he's doing himself a disservice by not taking the high ground on this.










Coincidence?

I'd love to hear what the average American thinks Schadenfreude is during a segment of Jaywalking.

I'm quietly hoping one of the Dancing Ito's goes public with a molestation charge.

-J